Hi all,
I just started following the medical school headquarters page on facebook and listened to several inspiring stories of students getting into medical school after struggling really hard. I am here looking for advice regarding my own situation, which is slightly different.
I got into medical school in 2016 and completed a year. My first semester was fine; I passed my core medical school classes but failed one non-core medical school class (it was really close, I was at a 69). In my second semester, things just fell apart. I failed three out of four core medical school classes.
What were the causes of my failure? Part of it was overthinking studying. I was being too fancy with studying when the reality is, all I really had to do was memorize. I often compared myself to classmates and became frustrated at how difficult things were for me compared to them. That led me to try to new ways of studying which was a bad idea. I didn’t stay true to myself.
Part of it was anxiety (a big part); I was too worried about things I couldn’t control, too worried about making mistakes, too worried about my future. I questioned myself often: “Did I make a mistake in doing medicine?” All of my insecurities swelled. Things that have bothered me before that I tried hiding under a rug just came roaring out.
And it didn’t help that my mother was given a prognosis of one year to live.
By the end of the year, I felt more confident about what worked for me as far as studying was concerned, however, it was too late by then. I actually was not sad because I needed time to figure myself out. I needed time to deal with this anxiety, insecurities, frustrations. I needed time to myself.
It’s been 8 months now since I ended school. When I first left school, I was convinced that I wasn’t going to want to go back. However, I’ve always wanted to be a doctor, and I’m ready now more than ever to fully commit to becoming a doctor. What changed? Taking care of my mom while she was preparing for and recovering from lung transplant. Getting help from family, friends, and self help books related to my own anxieties and insecurities.
Is there anyone here who has ever been in my shoes or had a similar situation that can give me advice on this? On getting back into medical school after “withdrawing.”